home . about . books . events . news . contact

Onward to Los Angeles!

So I’m sitting in the airport right now, waiting to board my flight to Los Angeles for the Lambda Literary Foundation retreat. This past week I’ve been on vacation in Portland, Oregon. It was an extremely busy trip, and I still didn’t manage to see everyone I hoped to. It also means that I haven’t done as much pre-work as I’d hoped…but hey, there’s still time on the plane, right?

Our pre-work consisted of reading everyone else’s submissions and writing critiques. That’s eleven 40-page submissions and a one page critique for each. We’ll be discussing each person’s work during one-hour sessions, three per day. It’s going to be intense. I’m very impressed by everything I’ve read, and I can’t wait to meet the other Fellows.

Throughout the week I’ll be doing my best to blog about what we do and how it goes. I know I got a lot out of reading the blogs of past Fellows, and hope that whatever I write here will let the next generation of Fellows find out what they’re getting into.

You can also follow our adventures on Twitter using the hashtag #LLFellows2013. Onward to LA!


LLF Retreat Homework: The Dreaded Synopsis

The sick thing about receiving homework after being out of school for eons is that it’s actually rather exciting. Last week, our mentor for the YA/Genre workshop of the Lambda Literary Foundation Writers Retreat for Emerging LGBT Voices, Malinda Lo, emailed us information about how she plans to run the workshop and what we need to send in advance. We were asked to submit the first 40 pages of our novels along with a synopsis. My thought process went as follows: 40 pages? Awesome! I’ve got those right here. Synopsis? Synopsis…? Bueller?

Frell me with a frelling flagpole.

Deadlines, however, are extremely motivating. I asked the other members of the LLF retreat group if they had any tips or resources for synopsis writing. Tess Sharpe posted a link to this fabulous article, which completely saved my ass.

The most important thing I noticed myself needing to do as I wrote and edited was to delete every sentence that didn’t essentially say, “character X did Y, which resulted in Z.” While some tone of the novel should be preserved in the synopsis, a 500-word overview does not leave room for excessive description or complex subplots like the dim pools of sorrowful lamplight swathing the cobblestones of a city street or the fourteen-legged mutant octopus that is a metaphor for the time your main character ran for school president twenty years ago.

Things to include in a synopsis:

The list and examples provided by the following link are much better (Star Wars!), so I highly recommend checking it out.

The funny thing is, after all the initial stress and angst, I feel good about my synopsis now that it is done. It’s not perfect, but I gained some important things from writing it. Now I know that I am capable of condensing my entire novel into 500-600 words. Also, looking at my novel at a macro level clarified the revisions I need to make to the ending. Guess I’d better get back to work!


Keeping the Balance: Professional Life and Writing (and cow shit)

Please try not to weep bitter tears of woe, but there won’t be a Leveraging Misutilized Words post this week. I’m deep in the throes of quarter end hell at work, which means that I work a lot of 10-hour days. Right now the only thing I want to do with a computer after I leave the office is smash it with a baseball bat. In addition, we got our pre-work for the Lambda Literary Foundation retreat, and I’m currently putting the finishing touches on a club newsletter that I do every two months. In case you can’t tell, I tend to overcommit, which means this is a good time to talk about work/writing balance.

Writing novels while working full-time is similar to simultaneously balancing a plate full of wet cow shit on top of one’s head and dancing the masochism tango with an enraged jellyfish. The cow shit is a day job, or maybe school—something that isn’t always very fun, but helps give you survival skills for the world in which we live. Balancing that plate is awfully important though, because having zero income is no fun (much like winding up covered in cow shit). The jellyfish is writing—that thing that fills you with doubt and self-loathing on occasion, and throttles you with the stinging tentacles of guilt if you don’t work on it, but is also bioluminescent and beautiful and feeds the soul you spend forty hours per week denying that you have.

Here are a few tips for any writers trying to balance a professional life with a creative one:

Say no, sometimes even to things that sound like fun projects. This is one of the hardest things for me, but the truth is that it is impossible to do it all no matter how overachieving you are and how little you need to sleep.

Make time. It is hard to get in a writing frame of mind in just one hour at lunch, but it can be done. Even if you only eke out 100 words, it’s still forward progress.

Seek a day job you enjoy. Everyone slaves through some unfortunate jobs in the course of a lifetime, but once you’ve worked your way up the ladder to something you like, it is amazing how much more positive energy you will have to devote to something you love—like writing.

Get support. Surround yourself with friends and family who support and motivate you to keep writing, both through encouragement and by giving you the time and space you need. I am constantly overwhelmed with gratitude for my friends and family.

Take a break. Every once in a while it is necessary to have a break from everything. Writing is hard work just like a day job. It’s okay to vegetate in front of the television or go out and have fun with friends. In fact, those things can sometimes be the only lifeline back to sanity.

There are a lot of ways to succeed as a writer, and many of them don’t involve being a working professional. But if you do have a day job, keep these things in mind…and don’t lose your shit.


Leveraging Misutilized Words: Leverage

Fact: leverage is not a verb. Merely typing it as such for the title of this blog series makes my eye twitch. Saying that you are going to leverage something makes as much sense as insisting that you’re going to floor the cat or sidewalk the garbage. Much of the confusion probably comes from the root word “lever” being usable as either a verb or a noun. However, the word “leverage” is a technically a noun built from the verb lever + the suffix -age. Looking at other nouns constructed the same way shows the ridiculousness of using this type of construction in place of a verb.

There are also nouns ending in -age constructed with nouns as roots. They sound even more absurd when used as verbs.

When people mistakenly use leverage as a verb, they are often substituting it for “take advantage of” or “use.”

1a. “We leverage the tiny calloused hands of our child laborers to create your crappy little poopamajigs.”
1b. “We take advantage of the tiny calloused hands of our child laborers to create your crappy little poopamajigs.”

2a. “Executives at Missawjinny Ltd. plan to leverage their experience demoralizing secretaries to increase productivity in the workplace.”
2b. “Executives at Missawjinny Ltd. plan to use their experience demoralizing secretaries to increase productivity in the workplace.”

Remember, never use a fancy (and potentially incorrect) word when a simple one will do.

Want a fuller and rantier explanation of leverage? Leverage This!
Did you miss my post on the word utilize? Check it out.

Leveraging Misutilized Words (LMW) is a series in which I discuss commonly abused words. If you’d like to suggest a post, please send me a message.


The Aural Art of Writing

In undergrad, I approached the English department much in the way one would approach a decrepit van with “free candy” spray painted on the side, which is to say, not at all. I studied for my BA in music history with single-minded focus that didn’t leave room for electives, especially ones that scared me. The closest I came to creative writing was leaving demented one-paragraph stories on the door of a friend who lived in a different dorm. From her I learned magnificent words like “nudibranch,” and had many a late-night laugh over the bizarre turns of phrase we generated. Despite that, I did learn things in college that have come in handy as a writer.

One of my favorite music professors was fond of reminding her students that music is an aural art. While that may seem obvious, it is easy to get lost in the notes on the page (especially when studying music theory) and forget that sound is the ultimate goal. Similarly, it is easy to get lost in the words on a page and forget that language is also primarily aural. Listening to one’s own prose, and that of others, can be a valuable tool to learn what works and what doesn’t.

When I read out loud, I read as though the words are music. Commas, semicolons, colons, and periods are analogous to rests in music, each with their own duration. Words have different rhythms depending on the number of syllables and where the emphasis falls. These are things that composers take into consideration when setting words to music. They are also things I now take into consideration as a writer.

Many valuable writing lessons come from other areas of life. I’m grateful to my music professors for teaching me to listen.


Leveraging Misutilized Words: Utilize

Fact: utilize is not a more formal synonym for use. Unfortunately, the business world has done an excellent job fostering abuse of the word, and plenty of online dictionaries will lie to you about the correct meaning.

So what does utilize really mean?

Technically, utilize means “to put to use.” What that implies is that something “utilized” is not being used for its intended purpose, but for something else.

An example that I frequently cite at work, which shockingly hasn’t gotten me fired yet, is as follows:

“I’m going to use this phone to make a call.”

vs.

“I’m going to utilize this phone to bludgeon you in the head.”

These examples work because a phone is intended for making phone calls, but not for blunt trauma.

Many people have told me that they will never forget the proper application of the word utilize after hearing the preceding example. Maybe they just fear being struck in the head with a telephone.

For another excellent post on this topic that includes a less violent example, check out Grammar Party. Grammar Girl also explains when utilize can be properly applied in a scientific context.

Leveraging Misutilized Words (LMW) is a series in which I discuss commonly abused words. If you’d like to suggest a post, please send me a message.


Oh hi, internet. Nice to see you again.

Hi. My name is Audrey and I write books. Occasionally I also write short stories, and I’ve even penned a few Best-of-Craigslist posts. In the interest of full disclosure, I haven’t had a writing blog for about seven years, both because I fear stalkers and because taking myself seriously is impossible. For example, my former blog contained posts on topics such as:

I could claim that I’m going to class things up this time around, but that would probably be a lie.

I’m here now because this year marks a change in my career as a writer. After almost a decade of writing novels and tossing my crappy first drafts in drawers to collect dust, a few years ago I finally began to revise and focus on craft. Now I’ve been chosen as one of the 2013 Fellows for the Lambda Literary Foundation Writers’ Retreat for Emerging LGBT Voices. While working on my application, I got a lot out of reading the blogs of former Fellows, so I plan to document my experience this year. Hopefully it will involve more insights on writing than disturbing bathroom incidents (although I do seem to attract those).

Anyway, I stand before you still early in my writing and publishing journey. However it turns out, I’m sure it’ll be interesting along the way. I hope you’ll join me. I also hope you like bathroom humor.